Dear sirs,

 

let's quickly go over the facts again :

 

–         on the 19^th of November 2007, 8 passengers who had previously booked their tickets on your Paris to Rome flight through an Italian traveling agency were stuck in Paris because you canceled the flight (blaming a non-existent air controller strike, but more likely because the return flight would have been nearly empty)

–         among those 8 passengers were Mr Pappalardo (myself, although in French the difference between the “pp” sound and the “p” sound is hardly noticeable, hence a “p” is often lost when my name is put in writing) and Bastianini (my wife)

–         all 8 passengers (including Pappalardo and Bastianini) spend the night from the 19^th to the 20^th in Paris

–         all 8 passengers (including Pappalardo and Bastianini) take a bus headed to Brussels on the 20^th morning

–         all 8 passengers (including Pappalardo and Bastianini) take a flight from Brussels to Rome (where you were supposed to take them the day before) on the 20^th afternoon

 

Still with me ? Good, hang in there, we're almost done.

 

–         every single one of the 8 Easyjet tickets was paid at the traveling agency with a VISA card belonging to Pappalardo (myself), as evidenced by the VISA bill I had originally attached along with the other documents

–         every hotel room for the extra night spent in Paris was paid with an AmEx card belonging to Pappalardo (myself), as evidenced by the AmEx bill I had originally attached along with the other documents

–         every single one of the 8 EuroLines tickets for the bus from Paris to Brussels was paid with a VISA card belonging to Pappalardo (myself), as evidenced by the VISA bill I had originally attached along with the other documents

–         every single one of the 8 tickets for the flight from Brussels to Rome was paid with a Diners card belonging to Pappalardo (myself), as evidenced by the Diners bill I had originally attached along with the other documents

 

Still with me ? Great ! Now here comes the fun part. You are basically trying to make me swallow that you really, honestly think (well, maybe “think” is a bit of a stretch here, let's say “believe”) that :

 

–         “the hotel bill doesn't prove I shared the room with Mr Pappalardo Bastianini” (of course it doesn't ! It proves I, Mr Pappalardo, shared the room with Mrs Bastianini, that is, my wife. Are you stupid or are you just pretending ??)

–         by sheer coincidence another Pappalardo shared the room with another Bastianini, in the same hotel, on the same night the unfortunate party of pretend-passengers from your pretend-flight was spending in that same hotel

–         Pappalardo (myself) and Bastianini (my wife) actually spent the night frolicking on the Champs Elysees (obviously if we had slept in another hotel we would have sent you the receipt, so if this is indeed not our receipt it must mean we didn't sleep anywhere right ??)

–         overcome by a sudden and uncontrollable urge to be generous, Pappalardo (myself) decided to pay for the hotel night of Pappalardo (the other one) and his wife (who coincidentally just happens to have the same name as my own wife) with his own AmEx card

–         finally, through a cunning maneuver Pappalardo (myself) stole the hotel bill of Pappalardo (the other one) so he could mail it to you in an attempt to scam you 

 

I'm pretty sure if three or four of you guys team up to think about this, you'll eventually figure out on your own that the statements you are making are even more ludicrous than the bogus terrorist threats your government cooks up every year around springtime.

 

Since it seems obvious to me now that the only thing you're interested in is finding a way not to pay, let me suggest a few other excuses (much more believable than your little hotel receipt joke) which you may freely use in your next reply to me :

 

1.      Dear Mr Pappalardo,
Thank you for contacting us and let me apologize for the delay in our response. Having checked the receipts you attached I noticed that the boarding pass for the Brussels to Rome flight doesn't mention the nationality of the passenger. We have good reasons to believe that the person who really traveled on that plane was actually a member of Al-Qaida sent to prepare one of the 30 plus terrorist attacks cooked up by our delirious Interior Minister.

2.      Dear Mr Pappalardo,
 Thank you for contacting us and let me apologize for the delay in our response. Having checked the receipts you attached I noticed that the EuroLines receipt for the bus trip from Paris to Brussels doesn't carry your picture. We have good reasons to believe you actually traveled from Paris to Brussels on foot.

3.      Dear Mr Pappalardo,
 Thank you for contacting us and let me apologize for the delay in our response. Having checked the receipts you attached we decided that we don't give a shit because our policy is to never, ever, at any cost, refund any of the poor suckers who chose our airline. Furthermore, given the shitty salary we make over here, we don't intend to waste any more of our precious time on you.